God has me working here and there on song lyrics. Below is the start of one song God downloaded to me January 22, 2024. I see the emotional symptoms of stress in my life. How can someone who feels this emotional stress response be writing a blog? God. Emotional symptoms of stress include becoming easily agitated, frustrated, and moody. Feeling overwhelmed, as if you are losing control or need to take control. Having a hard time relaxing and quieting your mind. Feeling bad about yourself (low self-esteem), and feeling lonely, worthless, and depressed. Avoiding others. There are physical, cognitive, and behavioral symptoms of stress. On April 14, 2024, I was given the parts of stress to look at. God is good. His timing is perfect.
The lyrics…
I know that (You treat me as) I’m worthless,
I’m worthless to you.
But God has a purpose,
Outside of your view.
He has me where he wants me,
And He has you there too.
God has a purpose,
A purpose for you.
Stress, good or bad?
There are certain stresses that are good. We do need some stresses to help us build up, like if we are working out to gain strength at the gym. To build up as a Christian, we need to hear the word of God read out loud to us daily and pray. I have lived under stress my whole life. Recently, I took a personality test that showed my stress level at 99/100. The stress I am under has been stuffed. Seeing some of the above symptoms, I see how the stress has affected my life. I am truly sorry for all the hurt I have caused through my pain. God, thank you for your forgiveness and love I don’t deserve. Thank you for your son covering all my sins for my whole lifetime. I truly appreciate all you do for me and everyone around me, including readers of this blog.
What did I do under stress?
I was complacent. It was easy to set me off to what I called, a screaming banshee. Those near me knew the buttons to push to get me there. There were really just places I needed better boundaries and love for myself. Some areas I would take control in were good and some were not necessary. I could not quiet my mind and even think about what was going on. It wasn’t safe to feel and know me. It was easier to avoid what I was feeling by watching TV. There was a roller coaster of feelings. Too many to walk through. I let others show me my worth and they were simply showing what they felt bad about inside their selves, projecting. It was easy to avoid others, feel lonely, worthless, and down or depressed. But God is waking us all up now.
How have I changed?
The more I think through things in life, the softer my heart becomes. I think on Jesus and how he was rejected, lonely, and walked away to spend time with God His Father. The promises given in the Bible for each of us make me stand in awe and wonder of His love. I am humbling myself, knowing I am unworthy of the gift being given. I am a sinner and fall short of the glory of God. Yet, God gently corrects me in a way that humans struggle to do. I hear the Word of the Bible and meditate on what it means and what He is showing me. Psalm 23 is what He has shown me and wants me to rest in Him.
Holier than thou…
This is an inward battle between my flesh and spirit. The world taught me that I had to earn love, He loves me as I am. It makes no sense, but God. He says, “Lean not on our own understanding as written in Proverbs 3:5-6. I am taking responsibility for my actions and releasing them to God a little at a time. I am not perfect. Only God’s spirit in me makes me perfect. Without it and Him, I am nothing. “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity (love), I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” (1 Corinthians 13:1) I have let man show me my worth and pleased men. I am moving to please God and not man. For it is written, “Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.” (1 Corinthians 7:23)
To say again…
God needs everyone. My walk is not your walk, your walk is your walk. He will lead you and guide you if you ask Him, love Him, and build relationship with Him. Your gifts and talents given are to be a piece of a collective whole of our body of Christ working together. Randy said, “In a body, we don’t remove the arm just because we don’t like it. We need each part.” If you don’t like a certain part of your body, you don’t get rid of it. Just as in the world, we need each other to be a part. Where would we be if we didn’t have all the roles of job titles filled? A talent is something you are good at, like fixing a car. A gift is what God works through you in His kingdom.
Instant gratification…
This will not happen overnight and all is well. God said we would have trials and tribulations in this world. He said, “Fear not for I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) I will continue to gradually grow as I allow God in my heart more and more. You can do this through humbling yourself, hearing His word, prayer, and fasting. Fasting can be giving up music, food, TV, Facebook, video games, or lots of things. If it comes before God, it is an idol. We can use this as our way of fasting and knowing what to give up. I have even gone as far as giving up coffee for a time. I realized I was relying on the caffeine to get me through the day. What I really needed was God.
In conclusion…
Love yourself as you are. Get to know you. “Own the sin you have done. I did this. Then, disown the sin. What I did is not who He called me to be,” Pastor Ryan. I am sorry for my sin, God, please forgive me and take it away. Help me to improve and not go back to what I once was. I want to die to self and live for You. Not live for myself and be dead in spirit. When I seek things above, set my mind on You, and die to self, You give me an all access pass to new and better places. God, you will work through me and bring others to Your loving arms. My story will be added to His story as everyone who follows. You are an amazing Father. Show all who read this your love for them. Touch them and heal them, LORD. In Jesus’ mighty and precious name, Amen.
One more thing…
I apologize for the late post. I scheduled this for Friday 4/19/2024 at 4:44p and it said missed scheduled. There was a poem tested Wednesday before that went through, so I thought it would work for this. I love you all, you are amazing, you were created for a purpose, you are unique (not replaceable) and there is no one who could take your place in this world. Be you and who you were meant to be. Thanks for your support in reading my blog posts. <3