I must be doing something right, because I have so many battles that have been coming at me at once. Every time I am on the right track, something is there to deter me. I am going to fight through. How will I fight? Focus on God and what He says is true. Put on the battle armor of God. Do whatever means possible to keep the movement of progress going forward and don’t stop. Don’t do what you usually do, Biz, keep going and asking God what to do. There’s no need to have that little argument, it didn’t work before. Don’t say anything negative, only speak positive. The negative is there, but change your perspective. Step back and look at the whole picture. No more lies of the enemy coming through.
One battle…
I have been sick for over a week. The real start was an inner ear issue making me really dizzy last week on Monday night. I was walking on a slant and holding walls. Took care of that as much as I could so I could work the next day. I managed to finish out the week and am continuing this week with the remanence. It could be an inner ear infection from allergies not caught soon enough. Likely from what the winds brought up junk in those storms others are in the midst of. I am praying for the safety of all those affected. Praying that they find their families and restore their surroundings back to normal quickly. Also praying for those who have lost loved ones amongst the disasters that took place.
Second battle…
Going back and fixing the two battles that started before HOB. Collecting thoughts and moving forward in healing, the whole purpose of this Blog. I will put together my thoughts and condense them down before presenting to my dad, my aunt, my cousin, and whomever else will be involved. Then on the other side, working on the communications that need to take place that way as well. I don’t know why it’s so hard to sit down and take the time to write about that, because this Blog is easy to write. It’s probably the emotions and thoughts involved. A lifetime of struggles brought to the surface and shortened. I am one to have a lot of words to each thought, in other words a talker.
Third battle…
If you live in a home with your husband and kids, there are so many things. One main thing is keeping up on the mess around us. Then, relationship struggles and power struggles. Simply, I want this to look this way and then someone changes it or does the opposite. Add some chaos in the mix and that is where I am at home. However, God is at work in so many ways I can see and some I can’t. A peace beyond understanding is around me for this battle. I will stand up and fight for the peace in my home. Which reminds me, does anyone pray over their home? We used verses in Psalms 23, 35, 91, and 121 recently. You can choose any other scripture that pertains to your situation. Having a Strong’s Concordance, can help you find what you need, and prayer.
How to anoint your home…
I have some blessed Frankincense and myrrh oil from Jerusalem. It’s labeled Anointing Prayer Oil and has ancient biblical fragrances on the bottle. I know it’s blessed and prayed over. Some use their own frankincense and myrrh oil and pray over it. This is poured in the cup of my hand and I use the other to put it up. I dab some on my finger from my hand and anoint each window, doorway, mirror, air ducts, electrical box, water heater, water pipes, computer and tv screens, game systems, and whatever I am pulled towards. This protects all entry ways and exits from our home environment. Over each, I do one swipe above and on each side, like they did with the lamb’s blood over the doors. With every section, I say, “I plead the blood of Jesus over this, fill in the blank, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Work to do…
I have been avoiding what I need to do in grief work. Avoiding is one of my shortcomings that God is working on in me. Instead, I have the famous words of Art Williams speech running in my mind, “Just Do It.” I was afraid, but I am seeing the lies that I have believed. Other things are working in letters to each to dwindle down the information needed for confronting issues at hand. Then, to sit down and really feel my emotions is hard. Sometimes they dwell up during Church services. It can hit at any time really, but usually I can push my emotions away with my “mask” on, and move forward for hours or days before I break down. What I do is not healthy when I hold it in. I need to give it to God, who is bigger than any of my problems.
My mask…
The mask I wear has been on for so long, I am not aware of it. It has been so ingrained in me to behave this way or that, which keeps it on a good portion of the time. Some may see through the hurt in my eyes, but others don’t. When it comes to others, I have a gift to see the hurting child in them and have compassion on them. I can fight an argument both ways on both sides. It’s uncanny, really. There’s an analyzing that happens in each situation. It frustrates others around me because what I say is true. Some will look right at me and say, “how did you know that?” I am good at reading some things really well. I relate this to my childhood. I was quiet and observant. It helped me pick up on what others were thinking and feeling.
Lies I believed…
I have been shown all the things I am gifted in through my childhood. When I look back, it makes little to no sense how I ended up the way I am. Public speaking for example. I would read the readings at Church in front of hundreds of people with no issue. Now, I shake and my voice cracks when I speak in front of crowds of less. Singing. You always sing for grandparents day or other school events in your life. Me now, I am afraid to sing and have my voice crack or squeak. Human interactions. As a child, I didn’t have an issue talking to most people. Now, I am worried about upsetting the other person which keeps me stressed. I pushed through it some in high school when they said to make a friend in each class, but I still have some work to do.
Where I am now…
It’s ok if someone tells me yes or no. I can accept that they have their own ideas and feelings. If I do speak in front of a group of people, it’s ok to mess up. No one is perfect and it brings out the genuine factor. They will see and know that I am a real person and not faking it. As I walk around, I will sing with the music in stores, even if someone is nearby. I am singing for my practice and enjoyment. They can tell me to stop if they want. With all the chaos in the world, a little joy can go a long way. In other words, I am getting more comfortable with me. I am learning who I really am. When I step back and humble myself more, I will become the true child of God I was meant to be.
Where you are…
You might not like this, as I don’t know some of my viewers. If you have been following, learning, and moving with what I have shared, you are growing, too. You are stronger, braver, feeling less alone, understanding new things you haven’t thought of before, and having a new friend in me or Jesus. It’s most important to have relationship with God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and God the Holy Spirit. However, if you don’t think that’s for you right now, that’s your choice. You are beautiful, loving, caring, powerful, joyful, and more positive things you are. I love each and every one of you, even if I don’t know you. You are special and uniquely made, there’s a purpose and need for you here on earth.
Why do we need you?
If you have a building, you need a builder and other people. Once it’s built, you need maintenance and cleaning to happen. There will be workers to take on the tasks of the work in that building. Safety is important, so we have police, fire fighters, and military. When injuries happen, we move to doctors, nurses, and other caretakers. There is a role for everyone on the earth. With that we have the food industry. All the people who like all the things come together creating a collaborative working force that helps us all survive. If one of these people were not doing their job, it would cause more for another person and may collapse. You are the important you we need.
Body of Christ…
Like our world functioning together, there is a body of Christ. No two people fill the same role. With one out, it can collapse and is not fully functioning at capacity. One person is the hand, the arm, the heart, the leg, the foot, the eye, the ear, the mouth, the list goes on and on. All the intricate pieces of what is in between. Some of us sow, others water, and the last of us reap the harvest. We each have our own parts to do. If we are not doing our part, there is no one to fill the position. God needs us all to do our part and work as a collective whole to get through this and fight. We fight not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)
In conclusion…
We are all in this together. All of us are necessary to complete the task. You are very important and needed. God loves you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. An image bearer of the Most High King, God. You are royalty. Don’t let Satan confuse you and bring you down. God defeats Satan. Just imagine what He has to do and is waiting for to complete His work. Amazing. Being thankful about things makes you more joyful. Speaking life more and more changes your perspective and later circumstances will change. We are promised trials and tribulations in this life. Focus on the promise of heaven and all that awaits you there.
One more thing I wanted to touch on…
You can focus on all the distractions. This can come in the form of physical things, time wasted, and more. Any idol that can stand in the way of you and true relationship with God. Jesus is all you need. Anything more is a blessing. You don’t deserve it. We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God. God gave us Jesus to die on the cross for all the sins we were going to do. Can you imagine the weight of the world for the years that Jesus bore for us all? He doesn’t want us to feel shamed or guilty, but to focus on and feel the love He gave us. Money issues…God provides all that we need. Key word need, not want. He grows the lilies of the fields and takes care of the birds, aren’t we worth more?
Matthew 6:26-34…
26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one [a]cubit to his [b]stature? 28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not [c]arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Prayer…
Heavenly Father, thank you for your growth of this blog and these guests that have gathered. Thank you for bringing them to this place just when they needed it. They are so precious to you and I want them to see and know you as Father, friend, and ally. Bless those who have come and read any piece of writing on this blog page. Cover them and keep them as they journey towards deeper relationship with you. Guide them on the healing they need to move forward in and process as I am processing on my healing here. Thank you for my healing and the healing that will come to pass for them. You are an amazing a loving Father who works in mysterious ways. Thank you for your love and care for each of us on Earth. Awaken us to your will and walk, as each one of ours is different. Help us through the trials and tribulations. Keep us on track. Our hearts can be deceitful. Thank you for awakening us to each thing we do right and wrong. You are so gentle with correction compared to people in the world. Thank you for all that you have done and are doing now. We lift up each need in this setting, Holy Spirit work. In Jesus’ mighty and precious name, Amen.