I am trying to balance many things in my life. I have a husband, kids, Church, ministry work, and 3-7 part-time jobs. Two of these jobs are outside of my home at a workplace. One of these jobs occurs every other Saturday. Another may be the other Saturdays or another day in the future. Two happen as I gain clients in online parties and buying. That is periodically in a month and changes each time. One is a week party on Facebook, the other is gaining people buying products from a wellness company. The last job can be done when I choose outside of these hours, as I am considered an IBO or Independent Business Owner. I knew I could do all of these jobs but wasn’t sure how.
With God’s help…
The way I am able to do so much is with God’s help. I slowed down, got into scripture, did a 21 day fast with Church members and prayed, then got out of my comfort zone. I found that one day will be a day of rest, which is Sunday. This gives me more time with my kids and family time. Sunday will be Church, come home, eat lunch, play a board game, then rest and blog. This blog doesn’t feel like work, so it is creative rest. A lot of my jobs now have moved away from feeling like work. I am keeping busy and doing God’s work at the same time. I am also listening to the days God tells me to slow down and not fill my schedule up. Friday, I was able to do this with the kids having Valentine’s Day off.
Ministry work…
My ministry work is once a month in 3 areas at this time. It will move to more when it’s time. God is adjusting my schedule periodically as we move forward. My 2 jobs at a brick-and-mortar place are changing hours and one is flexible. I run a baby pantry once a month at my Church. This is to help families with kids up to 5 years old through Dayton Right to Life in Dayton. Call there to schedule and they can help you out. I usher for tithe and offering 4 months out of the year. That is on Sunday, so I will already be there. I help with kids’ church once a month at this time. This may move up with the other calling to add a class for kids with special needs. Again, this is during the times I will be at Church already. God is leading.
Is this what I will always do?
There are more ministries, goals, and dreams that I have. I realized that God gave me the calling and the ability, but that it all doesn’t have to be done at once or at this time. Down the road, I will learn sign language better and maybe some other languages. My husband and I are to lead a men’s ministry together, which may include buying an apartment complex and some office space. I would like to visit Israel and maybe some other places. Then personal goals are around my voice lessons and creating music videos. I plan to write music lyrics, put together a beat, and play music. There are many I know doing this through Spotify, but I had it in my mind before that was available. I like to build and create and love to see others create. It brings me joy.
This blog…
As a reminder, this blog is meant for me to heal and to help others heal. They can see that they are not alone, and that God is in their story and mine. We are a continuance of the story from His Word. In other words, His Story is the Bible. Each of us add to the story through our lives, trials, tribulations, testimonies, and overcoming things as He helps us through. We can try and work through things in our own strength, which I have done and tried to do in many ways. God is the one who brings true healing in our lives. God brought me through and out of the trauma from an abusive relationship. He brought me away from addiction to cigarettes. I did it in my power for 20 years, but now, it is finished.
More to work on…
God will bring me healing from my use of bad language. In high school, I cussed like a sailor with everyone else. I have been holding back in my strength, but I need God’s help me to fully rid of it. If I am around people who have no problem cussing, I tend to let it slip more and more. I don’t want to continue the trend of parents can cuss and kids can’t. If I don’t want them to cuss, I am not allowed to do it, either. Actions do really speak louder than words. I have selfishness, pride, anger issues, addictions to unhealthy things, and probably more I don’t see. It all arises with those closest to me. I find it harder to deal with around those closest to me. That would be my husband and kids. God can help me through.
How do we get through?
Truly, truly, I say to you, the one who does not enter by the door into the fold of the sheep, but climbs up some other way, he is a thief and a robber. But the one who enters by the door is a shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep listen to his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he puts all his own sheep outside, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. however, a stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him, because they do not know the voice of strangers. Jesus told them this figure of speech, but they did not understand what the things which He was saying to them meant. (John 10:1-6)
When will I receive full healing?
There are things that can be fully healed on Earth. When we repent and humble ourselves, Jesus will take our sins and cast them as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12) Then, other things that will not be taken away while on Earth. (John 16: 23-31) Some of these may be a thorn of the flesh as mentioned from Paul’s experience and others. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) This helps us so that we stay humbled and don’t take credit for where credit is due. It is only through God, relationship with Him, reading the Word, being washed by the water of the Word, and being cleansed that we are fully free from our sins. When you realize that, it seems very simplified, and it is. Our sin and self are what hinders us from receiving what God has for us.
More to this…
Anything we get through and are free from is not our doing. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Him. (John 14:6) So Jesus said to them again, “Truly, truly I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All those who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal kill and destroy; I came so that they would have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:7-10; John 10:11-21 finishes this passage on the Parable of the Good Shepherd) In short, Jesus is the way to heaven. There is no other way.
Simplistic work…
God wants relationship with us. He created us for relationship with Him. An enemy was put on this Earth to roam, and He is our help from this problem. We ended up here in Genesis, due to the fall of Adam and Eve bringing sin into the garden and being cast out. We were safe, but they broke relationship with God by eating the one thing He forbid them to eat. Someone would have done it down the line. Out of the garden, the enemy had more access to them and their seed. Jesus came down and experienced this struggle for Himself as flesh and God. Jesus showed us how communion and unity in God was possible to help us through.
But Jesus was only on Earth a short time.
Yes, Jesus was on the Earth for a short period of time. During that time, He faced everything we would ever face, and He did it with God’s help. He modeled what we are to do on Earth so that we could join Him in heaven. Like Aslan in the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, Jesus broke the barrier of eternal death. He made a way for us to come and live eternal life after our death on this Earth. Therefore, death is not the end. Heaven is the continuance of our life. There are many descriptions of Heaven in the Bible including…Psalms 33:13; Acts 1:11; Philippians 1:21-30 and 2:1-18; John 14:1-31; Hebrews 11:10 and 16; Luke 23:43; Revelation 20 and 21; Isaiah 26; Amos 9:14; and Isaiah 51:3. I give you verses, so you can choose your Bible version of them.
Song from childhood…
Heaven is a wonderful place, filled with glory and praise, I want to see my Savior’s face cause heaven is a wonderful place…then repeat. The duet also says: Heaven is a wonderful place, filled with glory and praise, I want to see my Savior’s face cause heaven is a wonderful place. They are in different keys. It could be glory and praise or glory and grace. It’s one of those things where you think the lyrics are one way and they may be different. It could also be different versions of the song that were taught. I learned it as a child at Church.
What did Jesus do?
Jesus waited on God and His direction. He stepped away when He was overwhelmed and communed with God in rest. Jesus felt earthly human fleshly feelings, like we do. He knew temptation and more. In flipping the tables, He demonstrated a righteous anger and not an earthly anger. He had self-control, but it was God be my strength in my weakness control. Jesus took beatings and harsh words. He kept quiet as needed and guarded His tongue. This included guarding His heart and mind as well. He told the truth in love. Jesus was in constant communication and leaning into God and His care as we are needing to. It says, “Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) He did this and so much more.
What am I doing?
I am focused more on God. This is not done perfectly a good portion of the time, but practice makes it easier. When there are things around me that aren’t going my way, those are things I can’t control. What I can control is myself and my reactions. I can demonstrate how I want to be treated by treating others that way. If I do something in a way I wouldn’t like to be treated, I will reflect on what my choices are. I can’t undo what was done, but I can look back and repent and strive to do better next time. In other words, problem solve for future similar things. Asking myself, how could I better handle this in the future. Also, asking what I need to do to correct it now.
When does it happen the most?
This happens a lot at home. I became frustrated that my child was not out of bed when I wanted her to be. She had to be at school, and I had to be at work. Stepping back, I realize that relationship and respect are more important than being somewhere on time. I was letting the world tell me that I had to be here now. It was causing me stress and I was taking it out on my child. This happens frequently, but she is improving every day. That’s speaking life. At the end of the day, after some thought, I apologized to her. I said something like, “I’m sorry that I wasn’t calm and respectful when it was time to get ready. I was wrong to let my emotions control me. Relationship with you and respect is more important than getting to places on time.”
Did I come to this overnight?
This has been something I have been working with over time. I looked at how I wanted to be treated and how I was treating her. In high school, I was the child who couldn’t get out of bed and to school on time. You could say that I’m reaping what I sowed. Wanting control and demanding my way wasn’t working. Leaving natural consequences made it worse for me than her. I would have a truant officer involved in our life along with a possible fine or jail time for me with her not getting to school on time. Hence the stress I was closer to last school year. How would I want to be treated? I would like someone to listen to understand me and support me in accountability. That’s what I am working towards.
My prayer for you…
Heavenly Father, I lift up my readers to You. You are the one who brought them to me at such a time as this. You know their needs as You created them and know everything about them. Thank You for creating all these wonderful people. Thank You for the army of believers that will fight against the enemy as a whole and save others for Your glory. You, Father, have designed each of us for a different part of Your kingdom work. We need each part to work as You designed where, as a whole, You Father, are the orchestrator of all the good we see in our lives. We thank You for we could do nothing apart from You. Thank You for wanting each of us and needing each of us. Thank You for making us important in Your works. You are an amazing and loving Father. For those who have been hurt, help them see that You were there and gave free will to each of us as a choice. Help them find healing from any struggles they face on this Earth. Take them through their storms and help them focus on You as Jesus demonstrated for us. Thank you for everything, Heavenly Father, we lift up all needs for the Holy Spirit to cover as they need, In Jesus’ mighty and precious name, Amen.