Hi! Happy New Year!!! Shortly after Christmas, I was down for the Sunday before going through a 2 week cycle. Time was away from me. God was revealing things to me at the same time. He will use many avenues to reach us with information for our journey. On New Years Eve, we took the kids to see Moana 2. The motivational song on working together and getting a rhythm was really good. I also cried for a time during the movie, it definitely brought up some emotions. This last week, I was able to go back to work. This is not my only job or calling, I have several part-time jobs and other callings that I am juggling. How am I able to do it all? With God.
A month since last time…
Being open and honest, it’s been a month since my last post today. The holidays brought me through some depressing times. I am able to put on the mask I have worn for so long and get through, but the mask is harder and harder to wear. This is not a bad thing, though. I am releasing what I have been bearing my whole life. There is less weight to carry as Jesus took my burdens and sent them as far as the east is from the west. I have less that is causing me pain and anguish. When I don’t have the mask on, people around me see me and have more compassion for what I am going through. It’s a beautiful, but uncomfortable at first, thing.
Choices…
I am noticing the real amount of choices God actually gives us and how those choices affect us. The command is to forgive, however, we get to choose if we forgive or not. If we forgive, we are freed. However, it’s easier to hold onto our hurt and rehearse it in our minds over and over, leaving us in a rut. Our choice is how we speak and what we say. However, each has a consequence that comes with it. One is a good consequence and the other is a bad consequence. The choice we make determines our end game. Free will is such a gift. We can either use it or abuse it. Abuse is basically not using it for its intended purpose.
Some examples of abuse…
If you were to have any item, medicine, or vitamin, it has specific instructions for how it should be used. In the vitamins and medicine, if you use too much, it will make you sick and can kill you. That would be abuse of the pills. If you have a disposable camera, the directions are to use it and then develop it. If you were to take out the film, it could expose it and you would be out any pictures you took. Also, if you were to take it apart, you would risk being zapped. This was not intended to be opened outside of the store and safety protocols for processing. Abusing things brings bad consequences into our lives. If we use them appropriately, we will have a beautiful ending.
Adding on to sowing and reaping from last week…
God has been showing me some things on reaping and sowing. When you sow a field with seeds for a crop, you reap more than you sow. I talked about bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and all malice needing to be removed. If we did any of these to anyone, we will have a return of what we did more in return. On the contrary, if we sow good things, such as the fruits of the spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23, just imagine how good all of the abundance of that we would reap. It makes you think, my choice is very important and affects how I live my life. When I focus on the bad things in life, I will continue to have bad things in my life. Why? Simply because that is my focus. What would it look like if I focus on the good things in life?
Speaking life and not death…
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21) God said, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) When we say we can’t and the Bible says we can, this reveals the lie that we have believed. If we say we can’t, then we can’t. In a book I am reading, called Faith Over Finance by Asaad Faraj, it says to replace can’t with can t. The can is speaking the verse on doing things through Christ who strengthens me. The t represents the cross, which is the reason we can. Remember, scripture tells us, “And the LORD is the one who is going ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not desert you or abandon you. Do not fear and do not be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
More to add on…
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) So basically, in our weakness, it shows God’s glory through us as He is our strength in this weakness. In our normal every day life, we would normally not attempt a thing or were unable to do a thing. God can turn it around and show that He is in the midst and shine through us in any weak areas. It’s an amazing thing. It’s why God should get the glory for any good we do and in good areas of our lives.
How do I hear so much from God?
I am spending a refreshing new start to being in God’s word. This is how you build a relationship with Him, in reading the Bible and praying. Before the new year, I was told that we should start our year in Proverbs. That meant, once the clock turned for the new year, read the first chapter and give God the first fruits of the year, by giving Him time. I didn’t read it right away, however, there are 31 days in January and 31 Proverbs, so we started that. As I am reading, I am really thinking and praying on as much as I can some days. Again, I am human and not able to be perfect without God and Jesus’ sacrifice for me as is the case for us all. That thing you are seeking is relationship with the one who really loves you, God.
Then, I added more…
We were asked to read in John, where there are 21 chapters, giving 21 days of reading. That is a good mix of things. With that, add our Church service Sundays and Wednesday night service, we have a lot going on that is aligning as God intended it to. Things we read and look at outside of Church and inside the Church. Revelations of each person and what we need to focus on. We are a Church committed to winning souls, making disciples, meeting needs, and healing hurts. God is the one who brings the true healing to each of us. No human can bring that healing, only God. We can try in our own power, mind over matter. It will not be lifted until we give it to God and have Him help us through.
How did He heal me?
I was addicted to smoking cigarettes or cigars. Over 20 years, 2004-2024, I would walk through why I shouldn’t smoke each time a craving came. Then, in my dreams, I would be asked if I want to smoke and I would. This left me feeling guilty. I didn’t smoke in real life, but gave in during the dream. That’s when I started asking God, is this a problem? How do I overcome this problem? What can I do? Then, in my heart, I felt to give it to God and ask for His help. At that time, in my weakness, He is my strength was starting to show up more and more. Somewhere along the line, it was finished. I no longer had a craving. This showed me I was truly healed. This is one area of healing and I have more to work on.
How does it feel?
It is a relief that I no longer crave smoking. At this time, I no longer have to talk myself down from what I shouldn’t do in this area. I did come across a book on how to keep your healing, so I need to be aware that it could come back. I need to pray against that and be aware of that. It will help me later down the road for myself and others. It is a burden lifted off of my shoulders and covered by the blood of Jesus dying on the cross for my sin. It’s amazing to be set free of things. No more weight or shame. Just the words Jesus said on the cross, “it is finished.” As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us. (Psalms 103:12)
What else do I need to heal from?
As an angry teenager, I picked up cussing like a sailor. Every other word would be a cuss word, like those around me. In many situations, the adults around would cuss, but kids couldn’t. That is one that I know I have been doing in my strength for the last 20 years. I know because when I am around others who cuss, I have an easier time letting them slip. The reason I feel the need to do this because cussing isn’t reflecting the gentle nature of Jesus. I also tend to replace one addiction with another. When I was smoking, I gave it up initially for candy (aka sugar) and went back to it. Then, having kids gave me more incentive to quit smoking. When I got off of candy, it was caffeine. I am not sure if this is ok or not, I am searching my heart.
Is that all I need to heal from?
These are the apparent things that I need to work on. There is more. Some I know and some I am currently learning. Recently, I see my pride issues and my selfishness. These seem to be the next items to work through. I see that I should treat others as Jesus did. Not based on how they treat me, but based on my nature reflecting Jesus. There is a lot that can come from or around this. With the hurt in my childhood, I have some resentment and bitterness in my heart. This comes from a lot of people in my life. But God, He sent me people throughout life that would listen to me and teach me. I felt alone in my home, but the world accepted me and were kind to me.
This boils down to…
God has been with me through it all. I didn’t know it all the time, but looking back, He was. I went through a process called inner healing. Through this, I saw Jesus there with me in the room. He never left me or forsook me. People around me had free choice as did I. Some things I was blamed for I did and some I didn’t do. All the things that happened, God knows and saw. He sees our hearts and truly knows us before we chose anything we did or didn’t do. He is an amazing and loving Heavenly Father. Growing to have relationship with Him and know Him is the best choice anyone can make. These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)
It’s hard.
The verse I just relayed told us that we will have trials and tribulations in this world. You see, heaven is our forever home we are striving for. Earth, we are only here for a short time. When we are on Earth, God told us it would not be easy and we would have trials and tribulations. Satan is down here trying to steal our eternity in heaven from us. We are going to have struggles and battles to face. Your best weapon is praying the Word over your life. Worship Him in the trials. He will carry you through. We cannot escape the storms, we need God to carry us through. Each storm we face, we will learn something new that changes us for the good. God’s work is amazing.
Prayer…
Heavenly Father, please bless the readers and help them understand the words before them. Lead them on the different paths You have before them. You need all of us in our God given roles to work as a whole to complete Your divine plan. Help each of them in their battles as they move through them. Give them peace beyond understanding. Show them what they need to see moving through. Your plan, Father, is beyond anything we could ask, think, or imagine. Help us see what we can of this as it unfolds. Thank You for Your covering over all of us and those who are reading. We lift this up to You in Jesus’ mighty and precious name, Amen.