Link to Blog Post for 10/7/2024
Hi! My name is Biz. This is my 6th HOB, and they have definitely changed my life. The story I’m about to share took place 20 years ago. It is related to part of my wound that was healed earlier this year.
I want to shout out to how amazing God is. In early spring of this year, I had a child who began pushing the home life boundaries. Her behavior was repetitive and belligerent. I felt out of control as a mom, with two younger kids watching. Me and my husband were not on the same page. Spiritual warfare was at hand.
My daughter eventually left home, which made me feel the need to move on some things. I wanted to be quick with putting up rules and boundaries in this high emotional time. After talking to a mentor, God said, “Don’t be hasty.” I heard it clearly as if watching the Lord of the Rings resounding these words. Things were being put off. It was hard. I came to HOB in April 2024, knowing my daughter had been gone. I thought, what if she comes back while I’m gone. What will be done. I began preparing in my mind for all the worst-case scenarios or general situations that could happen. My mind was on anxious thoughts and not focused on God, who would have helped me with these thoughts.
When I got back, she hadn’t tried to come home after all. All those worries were for nothing, taking up my day when I could have easily turned them over to God. The world had set me up to prepare for such situations before they happen and I tend to spend way too much time lingering on useless thoughts. They are like those papers you keep in your house or pencils and pens, thinking one day I might have need of them. I have been a bit of a pack rat. : ) A good friend mentioned that I’m not relying on God to provide my needs when they come. I am trying to provide my own needs in my strength for future events which leaves me living in a mess.
Soon after HOB, God started showing me some things. It was as if He was speaking to me on so many levels at once. He was gently leading me through past roads I have taken literally. I was taken down a road 6 times in a week span. Driving past old memories of when I was a young prodigal daughter in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. Generally, when I went down these roads, I would feel intense emotions which would cause my shoulders to tense up. That let me know I was triggered. This time, it was peaceful and there was no response. That meant full healing had taken place. God showed me in a book that you should linger on what provokes you. The book is called Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown. No more feeling of being provoked was happening.
Another book, called Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk, showed me that I needed to try and keep a connection with my daughter, along with what a mentor had shared at that time. I stared inviting my daughter to different things all at once, keeping her options open. She was invited for Easter, my college graduation, Mother’s Day, and my birthday. It was a one-way street. I was seeking connection and she wasn’t. With me being the adult and she is the child, despite being a legal adult, I was ok with this. I wasn’t always the best mom for each situation. I was sometimes a screaming banshee because of my boundaries not being respected. I didn’t know how to handle disrespect properly.
I went forward in life while waiting and praying. My daughter finally reached out and said that they would join us for a Mother’s Day lunch outing. At that time, my kids were able to meet her boyfriend for the first time and we spent good quality time together. A week after Mother’s Day, I got the call saying my daughter was coming home…that night. God had placed some gift cards in our hands over time from Christmas, my graduation, and my birthday that were used to celebrate her coming home. I had forgotten about these and they came to mind just at that time. Our prodigal child has returned. God is so good. You can’t even guess what love He will show you next. It’s a surprise every time. We are all learning.
What I have gleaned from the experience of myself being a prodigal child is that prayer works. When I returned home as a young adult, my parents told me they did all that they could, which was pray. It was then that I learned the power of prayer. With that knowledge, I prayed for my daughter knowing it was all I could do. I trusted that God was at work as He had been for me 20 years before.
I have now been on both sides. I experienced being hurt and moving out and doing rebellious things. I have now seen what my rebellion did to my parents and I apologized to them. Thankfully, they were able to forgive me. I was now the mother of the rebellious child moving out. Our situations were different in many ways, but I remembered the results of my parents’ prayers. I don’t always go to it first, but I know it works.
I implore you to continue to pray for the prodigal children to come home and the sleepers to wake up. God hears you and He is working. You can’t always see what He is doing and how He is doing it, but He is. You can’t see the side of their heart and what they need, but He can. It is now full circle and complete. This was a milestone in my walk with God. Without God in it, the scales would have been different. To God be the Glory!
Isaiah 43:1 “But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.”