The final stage of healing is using what happened to you to help other people. -Gloria Steinma

What’s Happening?

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I am working to get closer together on times I post. God has a purpose and a plan and it will get through. So much has happened between the last post and this post. When you are at work and wanting to do work to glorify your Heavenly Father, opposition likes to come. It may leave you alone at times, but usually there is a struggle. I have been hit with a storm of difficulties, but God. He is in the middle of it. I am calm because of Him. He has given me glimpses of what He has shown me before in my dreams. Showing me that He is at work and is bringing it to fruition. It’s getting closer to breakthrough now. While waiting, I am focused more and more on Him and His work for me.

How can you do that?

I have tried it in my own strength before. This whirl of the same issue over and over again. I know where I am doing all in trying to control and be in my strength and not His. Let’s change the narrative to His strength. God working in and through me. There are struggles at home. I have a positive outlet. The disorder I have less control of here, I have more control of in my ministry. I moved to reorganizing the baby pantry. Making the flow better and preparing it for those who are in need. Since then, my inventory for the pantry has overflowed. I have more than enough. The help has come through one family in laundering clothes, then their situation changed to be less available. Just as that happened, more have come in to help in the same area. God is at work.

What else did I do?

With defeating one issue, others came. I signed up for camp through Hope 100.7 radio station. One more issue to tackle came about. Through it was an open door to last minute change my work schedule so I could go to camp. This was just what I needed at just the right time. I took some beautiful pictures and had some good insight from nature. There were some good messages that spoke to me. I interacted with many people I didn’t know and it was so uplifting. They do this camp once a year and I highly recommend it. I arrived Friday afternoon and stayed till Saturday evening. This was a day and a half, but time felt like 3 or 4 days passed in that short window. It was amazing. Like we were living in the bubble of God’s time being different than mans.

How did I hear about this camp?

This is the first year and a half we have been listening to Hope 100.7 and Light 93.7. My husband introduced me to the station. The place they held this conference is Camp Chautauqua. My son was going to this camp with his cross country team a few weeks before. A few days before that, I heard about this camp on the radio. I prayed and waited to see if this is where I was meant to go. The Sunday night to Monday morning before camp, I couldn’t sleep. That had me scrolling through Facebook, where another friend’s kid had been to Camp Chautauqua. I ordered my ticket immediately between 3 and 3:30 in the morning. There was just enough money for me to pay for this camp. They had the option of staying overnight for a bit more, and I took it.

How can you stay away from your family overnight?

I used to be home all the time. A stay at home mom, with few places to go. When you are a stay at home mom, there’s less in your budget to work with. You’re not working and earning, so you have minimal to no extra money to do things. With that, you look for free things to do or stay home. That meant 24/7, 7 days a week I was home with my family. I gradually moved to free Church groups. That would give me some time apart from the kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and kids. Sometimes, it’s good to have a little break to realize what you can appreciate more about each other. In April 2020, I went on my first retreat for 4 days away from my family. It helped me to grow so much.

How often do you spend away?

I used to spend no time away. The Mom Time group met once a month, so that time was away. My dear friends group was once a week, that helped me spiritually, emotionally, and physically. One group was exercise and the other was a bible study by different groups of authors. We did one with Rick Warren, Beth Moore, and Priscilla Shier among others before she passed. I love that lady, she was amazing and God did such good work in and through her. This lady spoke words to me and I hear them still to this day, and cry. I go on a women’s retreat twice a year called Hearts of Beauty. They have this retreat in many parts of the United States and Canada. Then, this camp and some work trips. My kids are teens and they are more self sufficient. Dad has them when I am gone.

My friend Darlene…

This is my friend who has passed away. Her name is Darlene. She told me that God trades beauty for ashes. Another phrase she said is, “you know that you know that you know.” Who else would say these words? They aren’t normally said in most places. I have heard them at Church and in my work environment. I sometimes have to fight back tears as I remember her when these words are said. There are more phrases that she said, but I can’t think of them all. When I hear them, I think of her, I think of God, and I think of her son. God has covered that boy with many mommas who care about him. I was stopped in my tracks sobbing and praying in spirit for this boy. It was so overwhelming and the first time, I couldn’t stand. I wept. I prayed.

God is so good…

Her son has a son. She was able to enjoy time with him for most of the first year of his life. That was such a gift. Where she came from and where God took her. Such a wonderful gift she had in so many ways. I loved that lady. She would come with me to counseling and support me. When I go there now, I think of her often. I would sit in the side chair when she would come with me. Now, I sit in the seat she supported me from. Darlene was sick with cancer. She had been in remission and it came back fiercely. I was told that if I don’t work through some of my emotional trauma that cancer, a heart attack, and other ailments could take place. God has shown me this through Darlene, another Facebook friend, and some others. He has awakened me.

Facebook friend…

I have a friend who stuffed her feelings, as I have done. This caused her a leaky gut. It landed her in the hospital in December. She was there for months. It was a short bit ago she came home. This emotional issue caused her many physical problems and near physical death. Her recent video talked of her struggling to love people as they can be hurtful. She didn’t understand how God could love her and watch her walk through the pain. Loving someone enough to let them go through hell is how she phrases it. Jennifer realized that we don’t learn through winning and having it easy. We learn through going into and through the hard things in life. God was with her through it, and she is now walking with others through their hell as He does with us. The only way out is through.

Others…

You see people go through struggles. Anyone you know going through surgery, it’s probably something they are emotionally carrying. When will they wake up? How can I help them through? Will they listen to me? We don’t know until we try. We can ask a person and they can choose what they think. Are they going to take your advice and heed your warning or continue in what they have been doing? That is their choice. You can’t make it for them. All you can do is awaken them to what you see and give them a chance to turn it around. I know this from experience. There was a time I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. People saw and some tried to help me, but I wasn’t ready. When I was ready, there were some left to lift me up and help me get out.

How did I get out?

Once I realized what I was in and ready to leave, I prayed. God help me. Give me a time to get out. I couldn’t tell anyone I was going to leave. I told one person where I was hiding and he helped me be found. That showed me what I needed to do. Tell not a soul or tell someone who I could trust. For me, I had no help from the friends he had me near of his. God opened a window of time for me to get away. He was supposed to pick me up from work and he didn’t. He had my car. I was able to get to a place of safety. From there, I was introduced to Artemis Center for domestic violence victims. They had one on one counseling, group counseling, and helped me get a protection order through the courts. God answered.

This is why I say…

God loves you as He loves me. He knew you before you were born. He created your inmost parts. God knows your heart. He is with you and will never leave you or forsake you. God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for all of your sins. He simply wants you to truly repent for what you have done. Cast your cares and burdens on Him because he cares for you. God is love. He loves you and gave you a choice to come to Him or not. God is a gentleman and waits patiently for you and what you choose. You are God’s child. A son or daughter of the Most High King. He created you to be royalty. Humble yourselves, for in your weakness, God is your strength. His ways are not our ways. If you are in a storm, God will carry you through.

Thanksgiving and Prayers…

Thank you, God for what you have done in and through me and what you are working on. Thank you for my readers whom you love so much and I love. Help them and guide them on their paths with You taking the lead. Show them that the path they are on is not what others are on. You have designed us all to be individual and different to fit perfectly together as a team. One of us doesn’t have all that they need, we need each other. Show us Your will and your way in each season. God, You work not as we work. For me, you are starting at the recent and moving towards the past. Thank you, God, for guiding me through my path. Each path is different and God is the lead dancer. Follow Him, let Him help and guide you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.