I am getting better with the time span again, less than a month apart. It was a week, then it moved to a few weeks, then months or more, and back to a more regular schedule. Life is busy and everything has been happening. Distractions to keep me from my full potential. But, God has been at work in my life, as I am sure He is when I don’t see it. I have been through some trauma as a child and through other times in my life. Not nearly to the extreme of what is out there now and has been growing. What I went through was at home, within the family. What others are going through, in some ways, is a lot worse. That isn’t to diminish the affect my trauma had on me. I tend to look at the worse case scenario so it can’t be worse.
Potential for a trigger, warning…
We watched a movie called “Sound of Freedom.” This movie is based on a real life story. It shows how they coax, lure children, or grab them off the streets. Did you know, the porn industry, abortion industry, and human trafficking are all inter related? I learned this at a conference earlier this year. The porn addiction leads to someone needing more. They move to the humans and paying for time with them. If the girls get pregnant, they need rules out there to allow under age girls to have abortions without their parents consent. They put girls out to work the next day after having an abortion. Demoralizing human beings, both genders. It’s real and it’s been growing.
What is God doing for me?
Healing is His specialty and that is what He is at work on. I have seen God working on me in a backwards sense. First, He started with my present circumstances. He showed me what I needed to see through what was happening now. Then, God worked through the physical and mental abuse I had been through 20 years ago. I am free from bondage that was held over me. God is so good. Now, He keeps going. We are to a time 31 years ago into my childhood, around the age of 9. When trauma hits, you go into this mode where you remember certain details. There was family that was not safe to be around. They hurt me. God showed me the way to healing is forgiveness. It’s bazaar, but it works.
Do they deserve forgiveness?
What they did was damaging. I have held anger and bitterness over the situation all this time, until now. They did me wrong. In my mind, they didn’t deserve forgiveness. My parents had a rough time much of my life because of this. However, God wants me to forgive them and place them in His hands. Revenge is mine, saith the LORD. (Romans 12:19) God says, “forgive others so that you may be forgiven.” (Matthew 6: 14-15) This leads me to think more. When I forgive others, God forgives me. I don’t deserve it, but He freely gives it regardless. Another point came across recently. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. (Matthew 5:7) If I show mercy, mercy will be given back to me. It has nothing to do with the person, it has to do with who I am in Christ.
A parable to go with these things…
There’s a parable about the unforgiving servant. This is in Matthew 18:21-35 that talks of this story about forgiveness. There was a servant who owed 10,000 talents to a king. This amount would take 20 years to pay off. In the story, the king wants to sell him, his wife, his children, and all that he had to pay the debt. The servant then fell down and begged with adoration for the king to have patience and he would pay it all. The king, moved with compassion on him, loosed him, forgiving him of his debt. This same servant went out and found a fellow servant who owed him 100 pence, this is 100 days wages. That other servant asked for forgiveness and he would not give it.
What happened next…
He had no mercy and threw his fellow servant into prison until the debt was paid. The fellow servants around saw what happened and told the king. The king called him and said to him, ” O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?” That made the lord or king deliver him to his tormentors till he paid what was due. The story concludes with if you have not forgiven others, God cannot forgive you. We need to remember the gift we have been given. Jesus paid our debts by sacrificing himself on the cross for all of our sins and others sins.
What does this mean?
This doesn’t mean they are free to go on in their lives without consequences for their actions. It means God will give them the revenge or consequences that they need for what they have done. It’s not up to you or what you want. We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God. Therefore, the payment of revenge may not be as harsh as we would like. Go to Jonah and his want for God to smite the Ninevites and rid of them all. Jonah knew their sin and wanted them to pay dearly for it. Then, think of what you have done. What you deserve for it. Think of what you are given through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for your sins and theirs.
God’s way and design…
God’s way is not our own. (Isaiah 55:8-9) God first loved us. (1 John 4:19) Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. (1 John 4:11) If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee. (Proverbs 25: 21-22 & Romans 12:20) Don’t take this the wrong way, heaping coals of fire on their head was different in the culture back then. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:21) God wants that none should perish. (2 Peter 3:9) There is so much in the Bible if we read and pray and ask for guidance on the meanings.
A little more…
All these people in the world and we are all sinners, affected by the fall of Adam and Eve. God knew what could come after Lucifer tried to take His position. God set a plan in place to turn things backwards, as they interpreted in Narnia. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe portrayed this when Aslan broke the stone table and death itself was no more. This is a spiritual sense for us, we are able to have life and live it more abundantly through Jesus’ sacrifice for us. He turned death to life through His sacrifice on the cross. Every one of us have sin in our life of one sort or another. Instead of focusing on the people around us and what they are doing, we need to get to our own sin and face it. Time is running out.
Why are people the way they are?
A lot of people start off as innocent babies. Some carry stress in the womb during pregnancy or delivery. There may be some generational iniquities passed down in the mix. Something happens to change people into who they are. Trauma or growing pains may happen. This is not to excuse their behavior, but to understand that something caused this. For example, someone hurt me. My counselor told me, at 9 years old, I am more likely to do it to someone else. I didn’t want that to happen. It was horrible what happened. Why would I do this to someone else? Why would they speak this to a child? This was not speaking life into the situation, but death. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21)
Understanding…
I feel it’s good to understand why a person acted in the way they did. That doesn’t make what they did right. It just shows you the damage in their life that led to this action. If you see the whole story, you may have compassion on them. It may be easier to understand and forgive. This won’t always be the case, but it might. There is a phrase out there that says, “hurt people, hurt people.” That’s true. They may have been damaged from something that happened in their day or life and are taking it out on you. It usually isn’t a reflection of you, but a reflection of them. Sometimes it’s simply that you are the safe place they can vent and not have retaliation.
For instance…
I had one of my kids come home from school. They were in a bad mood from what happened to them that day. Someone was bullying them and bugging them. They didn’t have control over the situation and were giving me attitude. This child was in 2nd grade. When they came home they said something hurtful in the mix. “You’re not my mother,” was said in a harsh tone. With how they were acting, I knew something was bothering them and they had to vent it at me. I was the safe party to take it. It had nothing to do with me. The problem was a kid at school and they couldn’t work through it and brought it home. They made it into something different and lashed out. I do this sometimes.
With kids or anyone…
Because of this experience I had, I recommend that you do your best to communicate well. This and many other experiences. It could simply be a misunderstanding. You won’t know until you talk through it. I am still working on this myself. Sometimes, it may seem like it’s you. Other times, it’s a reflection of them and has nothing to do with you. One can tell you this and you hear them, but you don’t fully understand what that means. I am working on that with one part of my life. Listen to understand. Slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1:19) Ask clarifying questions. You simply can’t read the other person’s mind. You take things in and interpret them from your perspective and you need it translated to what they are seeing it as. Communication is key.
I am a work in progress…
I don’t have all the answers, but God does. There are things I am working on and sharing as I am learning. The last set of healing I mentioned above is still in the works, close to completion. I can feel it like I felt God heal me of the other things. He brought healing from the abusive relationship I was in at 19 years old. I no longer will have to fight against cigarette cravings. God showed me that He has healed me of that. This is my story and testimony of what God can do in your life. I only want to brag on the work God has done for me in hopes you will have the awakening to share in healing, with God’s help. Read the Bible and pray, grow in relationship with Him. To God be the glory for all that He has done for all.
My prayer for you…
Heavenly Father, I lift up those reading this to you. Help them fully understand the words you gave me for them. Guide them in their walks with you. Awaken the sleepers, bring the prodigals home. Help them in the place they are in relationship with you and help it grow. Bring them the healing you are working in and through me. You know their stories and testimonies. You know us all more than we know ourselves. (Psalm 139) Give us the support that we need as we go through the steps you have for us in our journey. Holy Spirit, cover anything I may have missed in this prayer for your readers. (Romans 8:27-37) Thank you for all of these wonderful people. I love them all as you love them all, God. I lift this up to you, in Jesus’ mighty and precious name, Amen.