I apologize for going so long between posts. I let one week pass and then two more passed. There was the end of graduating for me in May, Mother’s Day, my birthday, kids out of school, and time went by seemingly unnoticed. It felt like it had only been a week or two, but I allowed myself to be distracted. As I have said before, there are good things happening all around me. Some are for me and some are for others I know. Then other people have struggles and I have some, too. My main struggle is trying to do too much at once. There is so much for one to do and then what is to fall at the wayside. What is going to be put off for a time for the other to move forward?
Management…
There are many things for me to manage as a believer, wife, mother, aunt, sister, worker, and all the titles I may have. It is often overwhelming for me to think about it all and get through it. I make a plan, then I don’t always follow through and time escapes and days go without certain work completed or started. The pile is still there as a list of things to accomplish, with little to none happening. This is where I need to heed my friends suggestion. Make a list of 10 things that you want to accomplish in the day and complete at least 2. Let the other things fall. Celebrate the small wins. In this process, I feel you should be able to get more and more of your list done.
Balance…
I want to accomplish many things. At the same time, I want to rest and take care of my needs too. Why is this so hard? It seems so simple in a plan, but then unknown things happen. I go to 1 weekly and 1 biweekly bible study. I attend a mom time group every other week as well. Some Christian socialization or gathering, along with Church 2 days a week. I work a part-time job, then I have 3 to 4 other things I want to add as work to make it easier on the budget. What I make at my job is sufficient and I could go through with that and get by, but I want to do more than get by. I want to have more ability to have outings at places like the zoo, aquarium, horseback riding, and many other things.
Money…
Since money is tight with the economy, I am able to enjoy some less costly things. We join the kids bowl free program and have the option to add adults for a cost. My youngest is too old for kids skate free, so that costs will be more money now. The library summer reading program has started. There are parks and splash pads around to enjoy for free. There is some cost to these things, even if they are free. For all of the above, driving to and from or getting to the place will cost money in gas and maintenance. For kids bowl free, you need to pay for shoe rental. Then kids skate free would be skate rental and a small fee for the summer per child. This is not to complain, but to state that things that are free are not fully free.
Other things to do…
We bought things to make the ability to have more free things available. That includes a basketball, tennis rackets, baseball gloves, frisbee golf set, and football. This gives some physical activities to enjoy at a lower cost, since we have the items to enjoy them. Other activities inside include singing, dancing, board games, coloring, drawing, and other creative play. I have found that you can buy a pack of printing paper and have something to do. One of my kids picked up Origami paper folding. That paper will keep them occupied in many ways. A few more ways are paper airplanes, doodling, and they also took them and created paper snowballs to throw at each other. I wasn’t thrilled with that, but had them keep the same balls for awhile to use. Afterward, rolled socks became the indoor snowballs.
Ministry…
I also dive into some ministry work. There are two ministries I am a part of now, one being a kids teacher. Then, later, God has on my heart another ministry to take place. This is the reason I feel the other work is needed to take place. All of it is to work together for God’s plan in my life and the ministry He is calling me to. This part of my work is easier to put into God’s hands and I also place the other work in His hands. Without God, I am weak. With God, I am strong. He gives me the strength and time I need to do things when I delve into His word and allow Him to do the work. Most of my work doesn’t seem like work. I really enjoy the things that have been brought before me in life to do.
Gifts and Talents…
A talent is something you inherit while a gift is something you receive. I am not good at pinpointing my own gifts and talents. Sometimes I keep track of what others say about me. I have been told that I am beloved, wanted, accepted, that they are proud of me, and I have a genuine smile. These are a few of the things people tell me. When I hear them say these things about me, I am humbled. Like them, I can see these things in other people. It’s hard to see them in myself. Why are we our own worst critics? Why can we love others more than ourselves? How can we change this mindset that keeps us here? These questions are ones I need to answer and maybe you could reflect too.
Rest…
I have such a hard time resting. There is so much to do and I feel like I have to do it all. I am learning that this is me trying to do it all in my power. Instead, I should give it to God, lean into Him, and let Him lead me through. When I do it this way, I am less stressed and more fulfilled. I find myself instead giving it to God and picking it back up for me to do. This is a struggle I have had for some time. There are things I am letting go of gradually and letting God. I am a work in progress. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways rely on Him and He will direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Welcome to my brain…
All of the above, I feel like it’s scattered all over the place. The adjustment of going back to a physical workplace has me worn out a bit. It’s good work and doesn’t feel like work. I am realizing that the introvert in me is needing more rest between. I don’t have the energy to be around people and come home to people needing me. There is a break I have been doing to reset between spaces. At work, I am giving customer service. Then, I come home to give customer service. Jesus took time away from people and sat to talk with His Father in Heaven. I am needing to do this and put some healthy boundaries up. I deserve the love and the people around me will benefit.
It’s hard to give from an empty cup…
I have not loved myself and have loved others more. This is not healthy. It says to esteem others more than yourself. (Philippians 2:3) Then, it also says to love others as you love yourself. (Matthew 22:39) I have heard that you shouldn’t give from an empty cup. In essence, if I am not loving myself, my cup of love is on empty. The love I am outpouring is little to nothing if I don’t love myself. I need to allow God and self care to fill my cup so that it overpours out to others. My cup runneth over. (Psalm 23:5) My body is a temple of the holy spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) This is part of why we should love ourselves and care for ourselves first.
More to it…
To add to this, if we don’t love, we are nothing but a noisy gong. (1 Corinthians 13:1) All that I am saying is applicable to what I am needing to work on. If we don’t love, we are nothing but a tinkling cymbal. That includes if we don’t love ourselves. The order to things is love, God filling our cup, our cup running over, this allowing great love and movement for the Spirit to work in those we minister to. God wants that none should perish. (2 Peter 3:9) He wants me, He wants you, He wants everyone. You are His chosen. (Colossians 3:12-22) He has a purpose and a plan for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) Why should we do this? Simple. God loved us first and gave us His only begotten Son. (John 3:16)
Debt…
Jesus paid our debt to sin. Therefore, we owe Him a great debt for freeing us from eternal death. We do this by following what He leads us in. He wants relationship with us. His longing for us is a covenant relationship. Regardless of what we did or what we are doing, He loves us and wants relationship with us. Nothing we do can take away the love He has for us. God is love. We are precious and honored in His eyes. (Isaiah 43:4) He knows all and sees all that we have done and which path we will choose. We can’t disappoint Him. There is nothing we did or are doing that we can hide from Him. We didn’t earn or deserve the gift He gave, but He gave it anyway.
In conclusion…
I hope that this blog is helping you as it is helping me. There is so much going on around us to keep us in fear. We should fear God and not what man can do. (Matthew 10:28) What I aspire to do, starting tomorrow, is to lean more into the Word of God. I don’t usually make new year’s resolutions because I don’t want to wait for the new year. I can start tomorrow or now. Reading the Word is bringing me into deeper relationship with my maker. Praying and leaning into Him is what needs to be done. This season is but a vapor and God will pull me through. (James 4:14) He will do it for any who Ask, Seek, Knock. (Matthew 7:7-8) I pray you see the truth that God has for you. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.