This is a testimony of what has taken place in 2026. My brother has special needs. He was born normal. They gave him an immunization shot (DPT) in which he was allergic and caused him to go into a seizure. They did not stop the seizure soon enough which caused front brain damage. This is what the enemy can do to us if we have a high calling, he will attack us at and before birth. We have lived with this all of his life, and he is now 39 years old. As you can imagine, so many appointments and things to go to all of his life. Things that they would have held him back if we did it their way. He was able to learn more than he was supposed to be able to because we didn’t follow their restrictions.
Cover Your Brothers sin….
There are many things that my brother did that were bad over the years. They gave him a diminished ability to think things through mentally. We don’t have to share everything bad someone has done to us. What I am really trying to say is you don’t have to broadcast everything bad that happened from your brother and you can keep it to yourself and deal with it in private. Speaking life is better than death. As you complain, more things to complain about come. You are in a trap. As you give thanks for things, more good things come to you. As Madame Bluberry says in Veggie Tales, “A thankful heart is a happy heart.” Mercy given as God’s mercy given to you. Keep in mind, some things may not be able to be left alone. It depends on safety.
Back to the testimony….
My family life includes a Catholic upbringing. I am not sure what their belief is for God the Father, Jesus His son, and Holy Spirit. I know now that the Holy Spirit is a gift to us and dwells in us as I started the walk as a Christian. With that, it came up this past Easter with my brother. He started to inquire on the Holy Spirit, and I shared with him my thoughts. That was the start of it all. Gradually, as the year has gone by, he has had to leave a group home he was in due to a provider who was not kind to him. Before the provider came back that last time, we moved my brother out abruptly. This is the world of special needs adults with “normal” adults caring for them not being decent humans.
Back Home….
With that, my brother has remained at home as we wait to find out if another place opens up that is more reasonable. While at home, the issues have amplified. My brother was angry a lot more and being disrespectful. That can look like spitting, an angry faced, and hitting himself in the head. I did this growing up as a child. If I were angry, I would hit my head on anything I could. With my anger, I usually tried to hit my head on something soft or just smacked my head like we learned from Homer in The Simpson’s tv show. That to say, I understood his frustration. When I was at home for a family gathering, one of these episodes of hitting took place.
Thermostat vs. Thermometer….
When my brother got upset as a child, I became his regulator or thermostat. I feel I also knew the temperature of the room. In this regulating episode, I am 42 years old and he is 39 years old. This is how the Holy Spirit has worked in my life and the gift that came about that I didn’t know that I had and was using. My brother didn’t get his way with food, and it was taken away. He eats too much and gets sick, but he doesn’t know when to stop. It was mainly taken because he went for the second helping before everyone got their first helping. This made him very upset. It was not just this, but what other tensions have built up at the home and not addressed. Some of it he learns while at the group home and day hab.
Side note, they let evil in….
The adults with special needs are treated as adults, even if their reasoning is not there. They are able to choose for themselves the way they want things. At one place, my brother learns and is in the presence of a Ouija board, an Angel board, horror movies (ex: The Poltergeist), and more. I know because he will talk about them. Demonic activity brought amongst them as they are together in a home. This releases all chaos to happen in the day hab or daycare along with a group home. If they would regulate some things the way they do others, it could be less chaotic. I don’t have access to some of these things in a classroom or workplace, why should it be allowed there? This brings about issues for the providers and the adults with special needs.
Back to What I did….
I watched as he hit himself in the side of his face and kept giving the angry face that someone else gives. I walked up to him and signed “no.” He stopped hitting himself. The angry face amplified continued. He tried to walk away from me, and I just followed him to where he went. He got angrier again and started back to hit himself with the angry face in between. I told him in a calm, direct, and empathetic way to stop doing that. He is being the bully to himself like that other guy. He cried realizing what he was doing. Then someone came back and interrupted the progress. I let them know that I had all the details of what happened and why and that I was taking care of it.
After I sent them away….
When they left, he started back again. This time, he was hitting himself because that person makes him feel stupid. Again, I grew up here and I understand. Emotional regulation didn’t seem to be available to be taught because it wasn’t learned by them as children. I myself am learning it now at my own age. The people around you give you lots of friction or pressing to make you realize sometimes it’s in you. With this new outburst, I did view it as a safety issue. Again, with understanding, I told him I get it. I have felt what you are feeling. He knew I meant it and cried tears of relief of emotion the Holy Spirit brings. He saw that I saw him and that I understood.
Another thing I did….
I gently brought up to the person who my brother is copying that it was happening. My dad is who’s upset face my brother is copying. His sister also does the face, telling me it is a family generational iniquity. My brother is copying that face and amplifying it. His face is making the mad face along with shaking in extreme buried anger. The expectation of my brother is to contain his anger when those around him are not. Since that conversation, I see the issue being addressed and restoration taking place. He heard me, he understood, and he is doing something to change. This is affecting the home environment drastically, since it is from the male influcence of the home. I am proud of my dad seeing the issue, realizing it, and doing something to change and not keep the same dynamic.
Seen and Unseen….
When my brother was seen, he realized that he was not alone. He was then able to work through the emotion. In other cases, normal children may be able to regulate themselves. Once he was seeing that I was with him and not trying to control him and how he felt, his guard came down along with his anger. Our family line has a controlling side. People are not allowed to be themselves and feel the way they feel. The focus is we have to uphold this image and not let it show that we have issues. We don’t think for ourselves, we don’t shout, we do as we’re told, we don’t understand what is good and bad, so we have to submit to their reasoning whether it’s right or wrong. What may be right for them may be wrong for us.
I believe that this comes from not having or feeling the ability to control anything in their own life. Someone told me we have a control bucket and attention bucket needing filled. An example is: you need to do this task; you can do it now or the time frame of 10 minutes. You get to choose, but this is the time frame it needs started on. For the attention bucket, it is about letting the child choose what their 15 minutes of undivided attention a day will be. This can be a board game, talking, a walk, or anything else they may choose they want to do. This builds the relationship which allows for them to be more able to listen to you. This can take place at home, in the workplace, or other places.
In other words….
If you don’t have the relationship with a person, they are less likely to listen to you. You can ask some clarifying questions. Ask the question that will lead you to an answer of what they are doing without accusation. I am in practice mode with this. I can ask why someone is doing what they are doing. They will tell me why they are doing it. I have in my mind why I think they are doing it. When I get the answer without the accusation, I see my incorrect understanding of why they do things. This has helped me the times I have applied it. Again, it is a work in progress for me. I definitely do not do it on the regular, it is my weakness I am working on. My husband has gained strength in this quicker than I have.
Back to my brother….
His medication has been changed since this incident. With the Holy Spirit and medication God created, my brother is able to learn. I was able to walk with him at a store and not have him wonder off. He also didn’t go to the sample table and ask for food. He was respectful to what I presented before we went in. I simply asked him before we went in, “do you want me to hold your hand in the store?” His answer was yes. Then I asked again, surprised he answered yes, and he did mean his answer to be no. I continued, if you don’t want me to hold your hand at the store then you can’t wonder off. He looked at me and understood and agreed. He knew the expectation and the consequence and was able to make a choice on his own.
Afterwards….
My brother ate dinner with us and was very respectful. He ate his fair share and not much more. We added a glass of milk and water to fill him more. When my parents came to pick him up, we were finishing up a movie he was watching. It was time to leave, and they told him to say good-bye. He opened his arms up to give me a hug. In all of my life, I don’t recall my brother ever reaching out for a hug. It was such a Holy Spirit thing. Since then, he has even told me that he loves me on the phone in response to me saying, “I love you.” This has taken place not each time, but 3 times since this day we spent together. God is so good. He is redeeming the years the locusts have eaten, for sure.
That reminds me….
Somewhere earlier, possibly before the angry episode at my parent’s house and after Easter, my brother did something else out of the ordinary. I was on the phone with him. He never really reacts immediately to what we say, he just goes to his next thought. My brother tries to push buttons wherever he can. What was working at home was talking with his mouth full. He is usually literally talking with his mouthful; I can pretend talk with my mouthful. He asked me how this would sound would talking with my mouthful or he spoke with his mouthful. I spoke the sentence as if I was talking with my mouthful to be playful with him and he immediately laughed. It was an exchange. I spoke, he responded. Out of the normal for life with my brother until now. God redeeming the times.
My hope….
One thing, I believe is my brother was not given his extra medication when I was able to experience him laugh genuinely after what I said. He was only on 2 medications which were working. The 3rd medication added helped him with the anger. What I really think is he will be on this medication for a time and learn to self-regulate. After he has had some programming enforced regularly that I learned about in the book called, You Can’t Make Me [But I Can Be Persuaded] by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. I believe this with positive affirmations; he will improve greatly and be able to wean off of some of the medication or stay on a lower dose for the same effect. Once the generational iniquity is fought on the higher ground, which is the generations before, it will be easier on our generation and generations to come.
Wrapping it up….
We all have some sort of generational curse or iniquity. It starts through the fall of Adam and Eve and what comes in our family line. Some things add on and other stuff drop with each person in a generation. What we see growing up is what was not addressed. The friction in a home is the amplification of the problem needing talked through and handled. It’s easier to just avoid the issue and get away from the people. If we can, we should bring up the issue and take care of it. That may not be able to happen if all are not in agreement and you may have to wait on addressing it. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we can address it. Love covers all sin. Pray and fight spiritually for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Pray for those who need God.
Prayers….
Heavenly Father, we thank You for all You have given to us that is seen or unseen. Thank You for Your work in the background to get us to our answered prayers You said yes to and not yet to. Help us through the times you tell us no. Even the place of Ebenezer which means “stone of help” shows us where you didn’t carry them through with a victory in battle, but it was for getting the old ways and comfort out of them to make them stronger. Help us see Your purpose and plan for each and every one of us. Show us how to lead the children You have placed around us, even if they look like adults. Help us plant, water, and bring about Your harvest for Your glory. We lift this up to You, in Jesus’ mighty and precious name. Amen.